One of the most important decisions we make in life is the decision of choosing who to marry. The quality of our marriage relationship has the potential to either fill us with life or rob us of it.

Here is an important thought. No marriage ever drifts into a great marriage. Instead, it requires deliberate and ongoing love and devotion for it to blossom fully. Small acts of love and devotion over a long period are often far more meaningful than a few grand gestures of love here and there. So, love is a verb.

We believe marriage is a gift! It is worth fighting for and worth giving our best!

Here is what we know. No one ever walks into marriage thinking I just want to survive. But over time, we all fall victim to the drift. So, we want to help you drift towards a happy marriage. And one keystone habit of a happy marriage is prioritizing romance.

What you will find on this page are important principles, helpful resources, and practical tools to rekindle the romance in your relationship. No matter the season of your marriage, you can start today by making romance a crucial part of your marriage.

Principle: Don’t Just Tolerate but Celebrate the Differences

WHAT HAPPY COUPLES KNOW

A GREAT READ

Grow closer. Love better.

Love and connection are essential to our well-being—as individuals and couples. Whether you are casually dating, engaged, newly married, or married for years, there are always ways to grow closer and love better. Here are some tools and resources to help you do both.

 

Learn more about The 5 Love Languages, take the interactive quizzes, or find additional resources HERE.

HELPFUL ARTICLES 

What Is the 2-2-2 Rule and How Can It Benefit Your Relationship?

Between running errands and daily to-dos, fitting quality time with your partner into your schedule may sometimes feel impossible. However, certified Gottman couples therapist Laura Silverstein, LCSW, tells Woman’s World that spending time together is essential for a strong relationship. “Many couples mistakenly think that working on their relationship needs to be hard work on issues such as attachment and conflict resolution,” she says. “These things are important, but the foundation of long-lasting love is built on shared memories and deep connection.” KEEP READING

45 Small Ways To Be More Romantic In Your Relationships

You’ve probably heard a couple’s story of how they met get described as being “so romantic,” or the phrase might be used to describe a particularly dramatic or meaningful gesture from one person toward the object of their affection. Some people might even describe themselves as a “hopeless romantic” in general. But what does that word really mean?

Here’s what romance is really all about, plus how to be a more romantic partner in your relationship. KEEP READING 

Date Night: Not a Luxury, a Necessity

If you are already having an enjoyable time as a couple at least once every other week or so, then you do not need to read on. You already know that planned time together, whether for a romantic dinner or a walk on the beach, enhances your friendship as well as your emotional connectedness. Friendship is a critical part of any committed relationship. It makes for open and honest communication and an assumption that the other person “has your back.” It is easier to address a conflict with a spouse who is also viewed as a friend versus one seen as an adversary (Gottman, 1999). KEEP READING

What a Husband Needs From His Wife: 5 Essential Things

What does a husband need from his wife? The answer to this question is complicated. After all, humans are complex people, and each individual is even more uniquely complex. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, men differ from one another in a myriad of ways. So what a husband needs from his wife will vary from one man to the next. his means, of course, that what a husband needs from his wife is largely individual. There’s no script or pattern to follow to “get it right.”  There’s no perfect wife or perfect marriage, either. But as a partner in a loving marriage, you doubtless WANT to figure out what it is your spouse most needs and wants from you. So understanding your husband’s needs is probably very important to you. It is to me. KEEP READING

What a Wife Needs From Her Husband: 5 Vital Things

Hey there, gents. I’m so glad you’re here. This post is all about what a woman needs from her husband. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re looking to understand your wife just a bit better. That’s awesome. Learning what our spouse needs from us is one of the essential keys to a happy marriage.

As I stated in the companion piece to this post, what a husband needs from his wife, is that needs in marriage and needs in relationships are incredibly complex. Not only are humans complicated folks, but each woman is unique and has her own distinct emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. KEEP READING

RECOMMENDED PODCAST 

One Extraordinary Marriage – Episode 711: Rekindle the Romance LISTEN

Enneagram and Marriage Podcast LISTEN

Dear Young Married Couple Podcast LISTEN

Picking up some new skills: Appreciation & Admiration

What Is Appreciation?

Appreciation is a relationship-building skill accomplished by showing positive regard for a specific deed or word that another person has done or said in your favor.  A sincere appreciation is always expressed with fitting words, congruent facial expressions, and an appropriate tone of voice.  

Remember: An appreciation is something specific that happened at a certain moment in time.  Be specific!

Examples

Bill:  I appreciate that you made your bed yesterday morning.            

Marsha: Thank you for noticing.  

 

Tammy: I really appreciate that you told me about coming home late when we were in the car yesterday.                

George:  Thank you for noticing.

Developing the Art of Appreciation

Cardinal Rules for Enhancing your Art of Appreciation:

  1. Focus on what you appreciate; focus on the small, daily things. 
  2. Be sharp! Add the day, time, and place it happened. This is very powerful; it has a deep impact upon memory recall and enhances future repetition.
  3. Share the fact of what you appreciate first. (See examples below and above)
  4. Afterwards, if it flows smoothly, share why you appreciated it.

Example: I appreciate that you helped me with the chores yesterday evening when we were in the kitchen.
Afterwards: It helped me calm down. I was so frazzled after the meeting.

How often?
As often as you remember. If you are in a leadership position (parent, teacher, manager, employer), it is almost impossible to show appreciation too often. Showing appreciation is definitely advantageous to all your relationships. Moreover, as a Christian, showing appreciation should be your personal, professional, management, coupling, and parenting style.

Impact

  • Regularly showing appreciation gives you a purposeful focus at all times, and confirms your inner dignity and beauty and the worth of the one appreciated.
  • As you grow in appreciating the positive acts of others, your become calmer. This maximizes your thinking abilities and increases connectivity, creativity, and satisfaction at home, in the workplace, school ….
  • Besides practicing regularly, using a notebook will also increase the calm within you and augment your ability to make ever-wiser decisions.
What is Admiration?

Admiration is a relationship-building skill accomplished by showing positive regard for another person’s personality, character, virtues, or qualities of inner worth and dignity, which cause you to esteem the person. A sincere admiration is always expressed with fitting words, congruent facial expressions, and an appropriate tone of voice.  



Examples

Joe: I admire your gentle honesty.
Tammy:  Thank you for noticing.
 
Nancy: I admire your combined drive and thoughtfulness.
Carlos: Thank you for noticing.
 

Developing the Art of Admiration

Cardinal Rules for Admiring another:

  1. Focus on what you admire or esteem.
  2. Focus on the big picture of the person’s positive character traits, and virtues.
  3. Share the fact of what you admire first. (See examples above.)
  4. Afterwards, if it flows smoothly, share why you admire them.

Example: I really admire your honesty.
Afterwards: It encourages me to know that someone doesn’t have to go around talking behind people’s back and being hurtful.

How often?
As long as they are sincere, admirations are never too many and are a very powerful and effective builder of relationship connectedness. REST-C2 trained people find moments each week to show admiration for others (their partner, children, co-workers, fellow congregants). Couples should strive to show admiration for each other at least twice a week. As what you admire in a person’s character remains much the same, be varied in your wording when admiring.

Impact

  • Showing admiration appropriately builds relationship connectedness, creativity, energy, and wonderment in the admired.
  • Being able to admire a character value in another helps you stay in touch with their and your own inner beauty, absolute worth, and undeniable dignity. It affirms your inner strength and depth of character in that it takes reflection and spiritual discipline to overcome yourself in order to express admiration consistently.
  • Showing admiration is powerful! Congratulations!

#RLCDateChallenge

If you’ve been a couple for a while, you’ve probably thought at some point, are we stuck? What can we do to make our lives together more fun and joyful? We get it! Life is busy, and we never intend to, but marriage and romance rarely make the cut for the most important and most urgent. And yet, nothing might be more important than investing in your romance.

Why not take the Date Challenge and rekindle the romance in your relationship?

Date Challenge #1: Romantic
  • Go all out and design a romantic evening out. Be it a dinner out at a romantic destination, a picnic basket by the beach, or an evening out on the town, level up your romance game! 
Date Challenge #2: Rerun
  • This is an opportunity to walk down memory lane and rekindle your first love. Maybe it’s visiting that special spot in the past or recreating the moment where your love for each other was clearly expressed and received. Be creative and have fun. Most importantly, reaffirm each other as God’s most important gift in your life!
Date Challenge #3: Adventure
  • This is to unlock the adventurous spirit within you and fan the romance flame a little. Plan a day or, better yet, an overnight trip that takes you out of the ordinary. There is always something on the bucket list that is too “out there” or gets shelved. Maybe this is the push you need to take the step to check it off the list. 

Romance is not really a luxury, after all. Consider it a necessity for a happy and thriving relationship. 

So join others in the #rlcdatechallenge to rekindle your romance. Use the hashtag to be included in the drawing for a Great Date Giveaway in January of 2023!

Childcare Reimbursement FormDate night sounds great, but do you feel overwhelmed even before starting? We know that the never-ending demands of the little ones in the house make it virtually impossible. If you don’t have family or friends that can come to the rescue, we’d love to help by supplementing childcare for your children so that you can be refreshed and recharged. Get started by filling out the form below.

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